Wednesday, December 23, 2009

"Only a chicken"

If only I could think of my farm animals as "only a farm animal" or livestock.  Today one of my chickens died.  He was my favorite and I had only adopted him a week ago.  His name was Benny.  He was a little bantam rooster.  Since the snow fell he always looked cold to me.  At night he'd be tucked up under one of the hen's or the other rooster's wing.  I thought it was so cute how they'd let him do that.  He loved for me to hold him and put him in my coat.  This morning when I went out to feed them he ran to me to be picked up.  I think he would have stayed in my coat all day.  I had to put him down so I could get something done.  About half an hour ago I went out to the barn planning to put him in a fanny pack so I could have James take my picture with him for my blog.  I found him dead with his head all bloody up under the barn.  One of the goats must have stepped on him or shoved him up under there.  I picked him up and looked for some life in him.  I tried to be brave, only a lump in my throat, no tears.  Yet.  I took him inside the house and decided to feel for a heartbeat one more time before I put his body in the woods beside our house.  He was getting cold so I knew this little yellow body would no longer cuddle with me and peep softly.  It wasn't till James asked me about him that the tears came.  Like the understanding husband he is, he told me he was sorry.  I choked back, "it's only a chicken".  He said, "Yeah, but it was Benny".

2 comments:

  1. This is horrible.
    I know that this is what I'm NOT supposed to say to a grieving person but: I know how you feel. I'm so sorry about Benny.
    But it gets better. And after you have dead chickens for many years, you probably won't even have a lump in your throat when it happens.

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  2. Mary Pannabecker SteinerDecember 24, 2009 at 5:56 PM

    Poor Benny. How sad. I'm sorry, Karen. I know how much you love your animals.

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