Death on a farm

You know, sometimes I think I've worked through this.  I've toughened myself up when it comes time for butchering pigs or goats.  I reconcile myself that this animal has had a much better life than those animals whose meat is sold in grocery stores.

What I haven't toughened myself up for is dealing with the death of my non-meat pets.  Today we said goodbye to Mac.

He had been losing weight ever since I got him and no matter what I tried - more food, exercise, teeth floated - he continued to lose muscle mass.  Looking at this older picture I can see how much he had shrunken in the past 3 months.  I had made and appointment for the vet to come out today to draw blood and test him for Cushings disease but things went downhill fast after I made the appointment.  I won't go into details but the vet said he appeared to have both neurological and hormonal problems and assured me I was doing the right thing by putting him down.  He said he would do the same if it was his animal.  That was what I needed to hear.  Mac couldn't get up and kept moaning. 

What made it even harder was Jaz kept standing by and braying at him like she was ordering him to get up.  She hardly ever brays but yesterday did it all day long.  It was heartbreaking.  She was much closer to Mac than she was to her own kids.  They shared a food bowl without picking on each other and spent lots of time side by side.

Burying a large animal isn't easy for many reasons.  We were lucky to have folks a 1/4 of a mile away with a backhoe who were able to come within the hour to dig a hole and bury him.  The young man was very serious and when he went to push Mac in the hole he said, "I'll be as gentle as possible".    Watching him tumble into the hole was disturbing but it's always hard to put an animal in the ground. 

I don't know how the other donkeys are feeling today.  Probably much like me.  I'm fine until someone says they're sorry or till I typed this blog. 

Mac was one of the most gentle donkeys I've ever known and we're going to miss him.  We have many pictures of him with toddlers on his back.  I'm glad to have had him for the short time he was here.